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MOM ASKS QUESTIONS ABOUT BISEXUALITY

Don't erase our identities and pasts. OMG NO. Bisexual does not equal non-monogamous. Do not assume. And if you do find a bi girl who isn't into exclusive relationships, it's still a really shit chat-up line and will immediately lessen your chances of most women continuing the conversation, let alone open any doors to hot group-sex action.

Yes, even on OKCupid. If only you could see our faces when we open the fifth threesome message of the day…. You can trust us just as much as any other girl.

Bi women are no more likely to cheat on you than anyone else. Equally, they're no more likely to jump at your suggestion of having an open relationship or to giggle and comply when you tell them to snog their mate in a club for a laugh.

We don't need a girlfriend on the side. And one of the most offensive things you can do is to suggest that we're free to get it on with other women because "it doesn't count as cheating" and other women aren't a "threat".

That's wrong on so many levels. How sexist is it to suggest that only sex with a man counts as "real" sex?! Being bi usually means having the capacity to both love and feel sexual desire for more than one gender.

I've loved women deeply and to suggest that me seeing a woman on the side when I'm with a man "doesn't count" is to completely devalue and dismiss that love.

Or a boyfriend. Yup, we can live quite happily without male penetration. A lot of lesbians are terrified of dating bi girls in case they "run off" with a man.

I can't even begin to count the number of times I've dropped the "b-bomb" and the girl I've been talking to has suddenly needed the toilet and then a few minutes later been seen chatting someone else up on the other side of the room.

We aren't "greedy". Contrary to popular belief, we don't fancy the entire population, any more than straight girls fancy every single bloke.

Woody Allen has a lot to answer for with his "doubles your chances on a Saturday night" comment. You'll get used to our "ex-girlfriend" anecdotes.

It's kinda cute when you still do a little double-take. Don't worry. It's cool. We can share those painful youthful memories of cringey bra-hook moments seriously, it still takes practice, even if you know how to do it on yourself.

We're absolutely sure we're bi. It may well have taken us some guts to tell you that, too, because society still seems to be having trouble getting its head round bisexuality.

You wouldn't keep asking a straight girl if she was "sure" she was straight, so don't keep asking us to reassess our sexuality.

Bisexuality is not a comfy little alcove for people to rest in while they gather courage to come out as gay, or just a way to impress guys at parties.

Except that it meant that a drunk girl at a party we both attended, who'd never met me but who had heard that I was bi and therefore "must be up for it," tried to force her way into the room where we were sleeping for an unexpected menage a trois.

Obviously there are many things wrong with that situation. But the underlying assumption, that threesomes are regularly on the sexual menu, isn't too uncommon.

It defines "bisexual" as "can't be satisfied without both sexes at once," which is another, entirely different sexual identity. It also overlaps with the stereotype that bi people are sexually insatiable and will seek out anything with a pulse to satisfy their raging libido.

Can it consent? Sweet, it's macking time. I am not Lord Byron. Committing to a lifelong heterosexual relationship when you've been a part of the queer community can cause conversations like this:.

Bi people are in a particular bind when it comes to their dating pool: If they find a partner of the opposite sex, they run the risk of being accused of queer treason.

Having a legally married dude partner means that, for some very lovely LGBT friends, I have sadly lost all my gay points, copped out, thrown in the rainbow-colored towel, and can no longer take part of Pride activities because I'm too busy being committed to male genitalia.

It's also frankly frustrating when anybody, straight or gay, assumes that I have been magically, permanently cured of my very real attraction to boobs by prolonged exposure to my dude's heterosexuality, like it's musky anti-LGBT radiation.

Sexuality is fluid , and it can change over time, but assuming this in another person is a good way to get something thrown at your head.

G — Lesbian Until Graduation — dating women because it was fashionable and edgy or because I was just confused. Nobody's actually congratulated my dude on "turning me" or "helping me make up my mind" — yet.

But I have had a few comments about how relieved I must be that, like Jessie J 's, my experimental phase is over. Nope nope nope. People can be very uncomfortable with the concept of bisexuality as a permanent identity rather than a 'holding pattern' while you choose which gender you REALLY like.

Evan Rachel Wood, who is bisexual, told a journalist for Out magazine, " People like things black and white.

It's less scary. Grey areas make people uneasy. The LGBT community and marriage have a very fraught relationship, with a legacy of "traditional" gender roles and inherent historical patriarchy to battle.

Taking advantage of a right that many gay people still can't have — and aren't sure they want — can put a big wedge between yourself and your queer identity and community.

Putting on the dress and the ring and legally binding yourself to a person of the opposite sex can wreak havoc not only on your gay credentials but on your own self-perception.

Is this really true to who I am? Am I turning my back on the struggle of a minority? Am I — gasp — taking the easy way out?

Quick answer: No. I'm not. Marriage is never an "easy" decision, regardless of sexuality, and if I'd fallen in love with a lady, I would have married a lady.

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3 thoughts on “Bi girl”

  1. Absolut ist mit Ihnen einverstanden. Darin ist etwas auch mir scheint es die ausgezeichnete Idee. Ich bin mit Ihnen einverstanden.

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